Many people try, and that is a problem. No matter how well-meaning we are, “try” tends to be our go-to word when we want to go about something in a very noncommittal way. In this episode, Christy Whitman and her producer, Rob Trygg, peel back the layers of this often misunderstood word. They talk about why you should not try, but either choose to do or not do. After all, it is better to commit fully than do something half-heartedly.
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QuantumSuccess: Do Not Try
We have another segment of Watch Your Words with my producer, Rob.
We talked about watching our words in the last episode and now what do you got for us?
At the last episode, you said try and I want to talk about that word ‘try.’ It’s one of those words like Yoda said it beautifully in Star Wars, “There is no try. There’s do or do not do.” People say try all the time, “I’ll try to do this. I’ll try to do that.” Try is a very non-committal word.
It gives you an out. I tried to get up on time.
If you’re saying, “I’m going to do this,” or you’re making a decision to not do something. It’s like committing either way, but try is that middle ground of, “I’m going to go for it.” If you’re going to enter into a relationship, you’re like, “I’m going to try it and see how it goes.” How committed would you be to a marriage? How committed would you be to a job? How committed would you be with your self-growth or self-realization if you’re going to try? Try isn’t something that you do or do not do. When you try, it gives you excuses, “You know I tried and this happened and that happened.” It gives you many excuses to get you out of it so that if you don’t succeed at something, you have an excuse as to why you didn’t.
I tried. I didn’t commit to it. That’s the reason. It’s not my fault I failed. We’re training our mind for success.
Our bodies pay attention. Our subconscious is our body. If you’re saying, “I’m committed to doing this. I’m going to do this. I’m going to succeed. I’m going to get that promotion. I’m going to make more money. I’m going to get a divorce. I’m going to get married. I’m going to finally get in shape.” There’s a commitment. There’s an energy that creates a whole state. It’s a mindset and you start committing, deciding and moving towards what you do want but try. “I’m going to try to get to the gym.” You’re going to get to the gym. There’s a way out.
It’s like you know me, Christy.
“I’m going to try to eat better.” At 9:00 in the morning, you go and eat a Big Mac, “I tried for a few hours.” Try is one of those words that when you hear yourself saying, you want to say to yourself, “What am I committed to either do or do not do?” We don’t have to say yes to everything. That’s one of the things that is important is to know what is a yes for me and what is a no for me? A lot of times people say, “Yes, I’ll try,” because we don’t want to disappoint somebody else. We don’t want to say no to somebody else or we’re not even checking you with our self to say, “Is that something I even want to do?”
Is this something you would suggest somebody sit down with themselves for an hour or two and decide what it is they want to say no to? Saying yes is easy. Saying no seems to be the hard thing to do.
Nobody likes no. I don’t care if you’re 3, 13 or 35. Nobody likes to say the word ‘no’ because we’re afraid of what the reaction is from somebody else. We all know that we don’t want to hear the word ‘no.’ We say, “I’ll try,” and then we get in that habit, “I’ll try to do this. I’ll try to do that. Can you be home on time?” “I’ll try.” There’s no commitment to that. It gives you an out.
A great way to be successful is to commit at least to yourself. Should I commit that out loud?
That’s funny the question should and that’s another word we’re going to talk about another episode.
That’s why Christy the top coaches in the world has to do a free session with me weekly here.
You could say out loud and whatever feels good for you, but it’s like, if you say it out loud, if you say it to yourself, say it with conviction. Affirmations, mantras, treatments, invocations, whatever you want to call them, when you say them, people go, “I am abundant.” You’re not moving any energy so that’s like, “I decide I’m going to do this.” Do it with feeling and conviction with every single cell in your body believing that you’re moving in this direction if you try to do it.
I try to do a lot of things, Christy. It’s interesting that you point this out because successful people don’t try. They just do.
They’re very clear about what they will not do. They’re also clear about what they will do. They’re very focused and they put their attention on what list of doing is, their goals, their visions. They move towards that. The things that get in the way, the things that are not in alignment with those goals, they don’t do those. They say no to them. They say maybe for later, but they move towards what they want with focus. They never say, “I’m going to try.” They do or they do not do. It’s a wisdom from Yoda. It’s true.
For a person who has to change dramatically his life like me and many people that are reading this.
Start with watching your words, it starts with that.
What you say to yourself is important and it’s something that seems small, but it’s very big.
Words are the beginning of creation. Change the try to I will or will not and do or do not but stop trying.
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