We all have different definitions of success. Some measure it through the money they have in the bank; others, in their accomplishments. Amidst all that, success boils down to the feeling you have, and this feeling is what brings out more success to you. In this episode, Christy Whitman and her producer, Rob Trygg, talk about the success habit of feeling successful and having that manifest to the rest of your life. Tune in to understand more!
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QuantumSuccess: Sucess Habits
I’m here with Rob and we are talking about success habits.
It’s the habits I need to gain.
People ask me all the time how do you be successful? How do you start having more success and whatever that means? Success to everybody is different. We all have our own idea and definition of what’s success. I would encourage everybody to ask themselves what do I think success is. Some people might look at it as money in the bank, the accomplishments that they make, the number of degrees that they have or the number of houses, or whatever it is. Success is a feeling. Do you feel successful no matter what you’re creating in your life? From that feeling of success, when you consistently feel successful, whether it’s the amount of joy that you feel, the freedom that you feel, or the money you have in the bank. It doesn’t matter how each one defines it. It’s the consistent feeling of being successful that brings about more success. What do you think about that? Are you buying that?
The thoughts that are going around in my brain as I’m trying to concentrate on this. I’m successful in many areas of life and yet not successful in other areas of my life.
What makes you think you’re not?
You automatically compare yourself to the next person up. I always try to strive for more. My bank account has these many zeroes, I wish it had two more or I wish I had another. What you were saying is a feeling. On many other areas of my life, I feel very successful. It’s conflicting to me. I’m successful in this area of my life. This one, I need to work on, but it seems when I work on this area of life, I start ignoring the other areas of my life, and the success rate drops. It seems to me that I like to concentrate on one thing at a time. Is there a way to put something on the back burner and yet still cultivate it?
My book that hit the New York Times is The Art of Having It All. I believe that we can have success in all aspects of our life and that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. That one doesn’t have to be sacrificed for the success of another.
My point is a lot of us sacrifice this area of my life so I can be successful in this area of my life, but then the feeling of success seems to wane. I’ve got this much in the bank now, but my marriage has gone this way or vice versa.
That’s the key is that most of us are used to creating success from the outside in. If I work harder, if I do more, if I spend more time, resources, money, energy, all that stuff, then I’ll be successful. The thing is that we have to start cultivating the feeling of success first and then other aspects of our lives fall into place. What you said was brilliant and let’s ground it down. When you said, “One area of my life I feel successful, but then in another area of my life, I feel like I compare myself and then I feel less than.” That less than feeling like I don’t have as much money as this guy, that makes me feel bad. That is the exact opposite of success. When we look at the lives, sufficiency, and abundance, which is another universal law, you’re in the side of lack when it comes to comparing yourself. Any aspect of our life where we’re saying, “Look at that guy, he’s got a better car than I have or he’s got a bigger house or he’s got more zeroes in the bank.” You feel bad, you’re in lack. You can’t create abundance or even that feeling of success from that place.
No matter how successful you are, there’s always going to be somebody that has more. I’ve used that in my life as the motivation to get to that next level, but I find myself going, “How do they do it? Maybe I’m just not,” then I start that self-talk.
It’s the downward spiral. Instead of being jealous, envious, or whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to somebody else, ask yourself what is it about them that inspires me? How could I collaborate with them? What can I learn from them? Whether I’m learning and working with them or I’m observing what they do, how they are. The thing is when you see someone that has something where you go, “I can’t create that,” or “I love to do that but.” Look at it, instead of being competitive and comparing yourself for what you have or what you don’t have as being inspired by that person.
I remember years ago, a girlfriend of mine was going on a fabulous trip, and instead of feeling like, “I can’t go on that trip either,” and feeling jealous. I was like, “I didn’t know that I wanted to travel to Europe and do this.” That inspired me. It inspired and evoked a desire inside of me that I didn’t even know I had. Instead of being competitive, jealous, and envious of her, she inspired me to create what I want. We have to believe in ourselves that we have what it takes to also be successful. Feel more successful and remember that feeling of success and you will have more success.
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