We often think of surrendering as giving up. In this episode, Christy Whitman and producer, Rob Trygg, tell us otherwise. They reframe surrendering as letting go, detaching, or releasing yourself from the things that keep you from creating success. Dive deeper with Christy and Rob and learn a counterintuitive way of thinking about surrendering from certain things in our life.
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Rob, how are you doing?
I’m doing fantastic.
Let’s talk about surrender. A lot of times people think of surrender as like giving up, a weakness.
Waving the white flag, we lost the war. We’re surrendering.
That is one aspect. Surrendering is also another way of saying that is letting go, detaching or releasing. These are things that are important in creating success.
Surrender is not necessarily a bad thing.
No. It’s not a weakness. A lot of times it’s a necessity.
Do you find that people in business, relationships, or in life feel that surrendering is losing?
Yes. We don’t like to lose.
No one does, but sometimes it’s winning. That’s what you’re telling me.
It’s counterintuitive, but it is. The way to piece a lot of times is surrendering. For example, we might be having thoughts of worry. We’re worried about something. When we surrender those worry thoughts, we make room for possibilities.
More than just cutting my losses, it’s letting go of the thought energy. The energy we’re wasting time thinking about what’s wrong and allowing it.
Yes, from the inside level.
Surrendering is a good thing.
Surrendering is a needed thing. When you think about it, when you want to create something new in your life and everything is full, maybe you want to get a new car. A lot of times, women clean their closets and then they’re able to buy more clothes. There’s a letting go. There’s a releasing. There’s cleaning out.
The airlines did us that favor when they said, “You have to have your bag this size and less than these many pounds.” You had to make the choice. Do I take the sixteen pairs of shoes for this one weekend that I’m going to spend in Acapulco?
My husband has this conversation, “We’re going away for two days, why do you need sixteen pairs of shoes?” I say, “It’s not a need. It’s want.”
Not to be sexist here, but the men got together with the airlines and said, “Let’s come up with a plan of how we can keep our wives from taking seventeen bags. Let’s make it a limit.”
Surrender is important. When you think about it, a lot of the tension that we feel in our lives. We’ve got tension in a relationship, sometimes the most loving thing that we can do is release that relationship. People hold on to it way too long. I’m not all about divorce and break up at all. Sometimes things are not good for us. One of the things we can talk about in another show is the first rule of a relationship. If it’s true for me, it’s true for you because everything is energetically connected.
If I’m feeling something and I’m not communicating it or I’m hiding it, you’re also feeling something. Something’s off. To release whatever that thing is, release the attachment to it, we then make space for something new to show up. It’s like if you think about a vase that’s filled with water. We can’t put anything else in it unless it’s emptied or released. If it’s something physical that we’re wanting, releasing something physical like you want to get a new car, releasing our old car to get the new car. You could be Rob and have fifteen cars in the driveway.
I never believed I bought a lemon until I had fifteen of them.
Think about something in your life that maybe you’re stressed over. You’re worried about it. You’re feeling fear about whatever that is. Put that as a mental concept in your head, picture that. Imagine releasing the control of it, handing it over. It’s almost like, “Give it to me, Rob.” Mentally just hand it over to me. Release the energy behind it. Release the worry, the emotions, the thoughts about it. Let it all go. Now, how do you feel?
It’s like a monkey was off my back. This is something that you’re not going to be able to handle for me. It’s something that I have to do. That thought process we did, that little exercise we did, this thing that I have hanging over my head, I mentally release it to you. That did make a difference. It happens to be a work problem. I’m up against a deadline. I’m thinking, “I’m never going to get it done.” I always end up getting it done.
Release those thoughts, “I’m never going to get it done.”
That’s what you talk about, surrendering those thoughts and moving on to this. You know you’re going to get it done. Eventually, it happens so let it happen.
Release the negativity of, “I’m never going to get it done.” That’s something that pushes you, motivates you to get it done. Instead of putting that fire into you in that way, release those negative thoughts and allow new empowering thoughts to come in and say, “I’m going to get this done on perfect time. It always works out great. Things are always working out for me. I’m always meeting deadlines.” Whatever it is, but to release anything that feels bad to surrender it and bring in something new is the key to massive success.
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